Bura Na Mano Holi Hain! “Considering consent important” says SP Cachar; Experts explain long term trauma of a bad touch

Holi is a festival of colours. It is joyous, pompous and carefree. It awakens the child in everyone as they walk towards each other with fist full of colours. For the last couple of years, Covid induced pandemic and the restrictions that followed dimmed the holi celebrations. Colour guns and powders are being sold in large numbers in Silchar and other parts of Barak Valley, much like most parts in the country, it is going to be a holi bash in 2022.

Songs like “Rang Barse”, “Balam Pichkari”, will reverberate in most part of the town and fraternisation will be promoted. Though this is primarily a celebration for the Hindus, in places like Barak Valley, the festival rises above religious divide. In the ocean of celebrations, there are islands of concerns too. One of them is bad touch.

Submerged in the essence of “Bura Na Mano Holi Hain” many a times, the line get crossed and consent gets overshadowed. “Holi is a festival of colours and promotes fraternisation. Coming together is imperative but consideration should be kept of consent of the other person. There should be no hard feelings as a consequence, only soft colours spreading joy everywhere,” says Dr. Ramandeep Kaur Superintendent of Police, Cachar.

Intentionally or unintentionally, when consent is not valued and colours are put to the opposite sex or at times to the same sex, it leaves a bad taste or mental trauma. Hundreds of cases have been reported across the country where the women complained about a bad touch and the men defended saying it was a “slight mischief” or the cliché – “Bura Na Maano Holi Hain”.

“See, women or even young girls have an inherent instinct to realise a bad touch. It is like a god gifted sense. So, female as a whol know how to protect themselves from bad touches or at least stay away from those,” says Dr. Tanushree Deb Gupta who treats patients on a daily basis.

“While there is a category that confronts and speaks up against such bad touches, some women are too docile, they realise a bad touch but remain quiet about it because of embarrassment and since it is a social taboo. Such touches leave a big psychological impact especially on those who remain mum about it. My personal opinion is, whenever something like this happens, they must confront and if they are unable to do so, they must seek help from a counsellor as when one keeps these things within themselves, it becomes a psychological trauma,” adds Dr. Deb.

Paulami Chakraborty, Counsellor and Hypnotherapist breaks it down further to explain the mental trauma further. She explains that at times, when either party or both parties are intoxicated and a bad experience is encountered, the mental trauma gets in the way of life in the long run. “It is never bura na maano holi hai but it is always bura zaroor manenge, if you don’t take my consent before putting colours on me,” she says.

She adds, “A bad touch or putting colours in an inappropriate way might not always have an immediate impact. But in the long run it will trigger actions like trust issues, or develop a sense of detest to touches from the opposite gender. It can happen to both men and women and when it happens, it causes problems in relationships or conjugal life.“

The experts make it clear, it definitely cannot be called a “Slight Mischief” when at stake is the life ahead. It is against the larger interest to promote “Bura Na Mano Holi Hain” instead, the merit is celebrating the festival of colours responsibly by respecting consent.