Saluting the real-life Sheroes this women's day

Be it burning to ashes as part of “satidaha” or fighting for basic educational rights, getting humiliated for being healthy to being fed to look pretty, women have fought and are fighting the rules of patriarchy. Campaigns of woman empowerment may get conversations going but are there enough triumph stories to be even celebrated. The struggle seems never-ending and the battle of sexes yet to see a ceasefire.

While even celebrating 365 days in their honour would be less, today on the occasion of Woman’s Day, here’s saluting few Sheroes around us.

“When there is support of the family, you are bound to win battles “, is what “Aunty” Momo believes. “Aunty” Momo, the name given by college students, in jhalupara (A momo hub of Silchar) is the first person to start the business of momo around 20 years ago. That was the time when Silchar knew nothing more than ‘Cha’ (Tea) and ‘Shingara’ (Samosa) for evening snacks. When asked about her journey she agreed that it was tough owing to the financial conditions of the family. Now a self-made entrepreneur, she shared that it is always a conflict to maintain the balance between “money” and “satisfaction”. “The need for money is always there, but you don’t succeed in business only by being money-minded. You must love your customers, know what they need and keep working for that”.

This is the reason why until today, the crowd has never become less in her shop. When asked about her family, with a tinge of pride, she emotionally said, ” My sisters, brothers, husband and my children always supported me and being the youngest of all, I got all the love and trust I could expect from my family”. While one would feel that earning money brought her joy but Aunty Momo shared that her biggest victory was that she could now educate her children.

“They think we are weak, and we will be afraid of the situations they create. But guess what, tomorrow, we will come out with more will, determination, and self-confidence than today”. Debopriya Kar stated as we asked her to speak about the everyday struggles a woman faces. “We are judged based on clothes, how we speak, how we walk, and to be proactive all the time is sub-consciously very tiring.

When asked about her feelings about women’s day, she replied, “Actions speak louder than words, and if you respect women, it will be visible from your gesture. There are a lot of men supporting “women empowerment” in public, while they are the ones who make women uncomfortable when left alone. So, we need to focus on actions more, but having said that, I wish each and every woman a very happy women’s day.”

As #10YearsChallenge was trending recently, we asked her to mention the changes she has seen in the last decade. With a smile, she said, “Lifestyle, malls, even the streets have changed. But the issue of harassment continues to be there. If social media has come up to connect more people and raise voice against any evil, it has also found out ways to increase harassment as well. But on a personal level, I have become much more matured and learned not to “blame” myself, for things I am not responsible for”.

“Today’s daughters are tomorrow’s mother,” she spoke further about her motivation in life, “Responsibility. I lost my father and now I feel I should be taking care of my family and that drives me. They say that with power comes responsibility, but for me, with great responsibility, I discovered great power in me”. Concluding the conversation, she said, “And my mother. The aim is to make her happy. Because if I could end the day seeing her smile, the war is already won. Then who cares about the battles?”

“Narike apon vagyo joy koribar keno nahi dibe odhikar”- Tagore.

Are the lines that can best describe the journey of Ujjayita Chowdhury had so far. Her journey to find the “strength” and “power” is motivational. “I was naive, innocent and very moody two years back”, she said when we started to converse about her journey till now. “I used to take everything for granted, got everything without asking and thought life would never be tough”.

Everything was a bed full of roses for her until her mother suddenly became ill. The situation was quite grave and she had to be rushed to Chennai for treatment. “I never understood the gravity of the situation till then,” said Ujjayita. She added that she would update status asking for prayers for her mother, and when the people responded, via likes, comments and messages, she felt good. But things were not turning to her favour, “This time I had my back to the wall and reality was thrashing me like anything.”, said an emotional, yet firm Ujjayita. “I turned off my cell phone and didn’t switch it on till the next five days”.

The calls, messages, and texts no more mattered, actually, to be honest, was as good as spams for her. “Suddenly me, who wasn’t even bothered to take my own food, was preparing one, serving and making sure the family was having it. I discovered the side of me I never knew existed. I could feel myself doing stuff, saying things boldly which otherwise I would have said only in my head. And if this is called maturity, I would say, yes, at that moment, in a second, I became mature,” she shared.

She shared that seeing her mother fight every day is her inspiration. “What I fight is something not extraordinary. Hope is the best thing we have, but sometimes only when we lose hope, do we start to trust ourselves,” said the 20-year-old, who suddenly found herself mothering her whole family.

We all have a fighter in our family, who we call “mother”. And she never complains. Be it the month end budget crisis and fulfilling the previous month’s wishes of her children to making food for her child so that he can leave for examination and then immediately rushing to the hospital for her husband’s operation. This is my mother, my iron lady. And I am sure, each one of us has seen an iron lady in our mother.

To every woman out there, I would like to dedicate this poem to them.

“Oh, that’s unfortunate, is what they said.

That day after my father was dead.

“Ask for anything, have no fear”

And suddenly the jealous neighbors called us “dear”.

One, two and several months passed.

My mother could recover at last.

Then came the season of euphoria

And with lots of “happiness”, came Maa Durga.

On the tenth day of puja

When all the brides wore red and vermilion

Maa was peeking out of window

In a hope of some voice to cry out.

“Come let’s go and play with sindoor”

Is what everybody told her last year.

“come and at least see, if not play”

Is what no one told her this year.

Is this the side of the society that we missed?

That one who needs the support the most gets dismissed.

Is this what society fears the most?

That widow makes pandals more impure, than corrupt.

That staring and touching in the jam is fine

But not calling the widows to dine.

That society which is itself ashamed of nudity

Gave ‘slim’ and ‘fair’ as the definition of beauty.

I don’t know if Maa Durga will mind

And as my mother told, Durga always cares for its kins.

If society denies me to offer “Anjali” this time,

I am going to offer flowers to my Mother’s knees. “

And I will offer my Anjali to Maa because My Durga Wears White.